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[01 Nov 2004|05:36pm] |
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the thing is, i don't kno how to feel.. maybe that's why i get sad. because i feel like i should care, but i don't want to, and at the same time, i think i do. because it's something i should care about. something that matters. something u're supposed to be able to turn to when things get rough. but for me, it's the source of my torment.
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[17 Sep 2004|01:46pm] |
wow everyone has a xanga.. almost makes me want one, hehe
anyway.. almost a month of school's gone by. im so tired of it already.. and now that i go to the gym more frequently, and i have work (yay, i finally got a job! hehe), i'm even more tired. doesn't help when i'm trying to study harder n stuff.. but i think i'll get used to it
i wanna go home!! gotta wait till thanksgiving tho, which is, i think, 67 more days.. such a long time. but better than Christmas. originally i wasn't even sure if i was gonna go home in november. didn't kno how welcome i was, haha, but things are better with my dad now. we actually communicate. lol
i really wish i was closer to people. i made a mistake a while back, letting myself drift... and now it seems like i never have anyone to talk to. i mean, i do, but i want... well, something. no details. i feel like i've changed so much as a person tho.. somehow, i'm just different. i have my thots as to why, but at the same time, i can't put the blame on something/someone else.. i mean, it's me. i control who i become. and i realize that i'm not who i want to be. i think i've known that for a while now, but i don't kno wut to do to change that. damn i sound depressed. i'm not, just always thinking, observing
there is one aspect i've changed for the better tho, hehe.. i'm not as lazy! maybe i am in the studying department, but now, i'll actually get up at 7 in the morning to exercise, eat breakfast, or just allow some time before class to get some stuff done. i should've just gotten 8 oclock classes, hehe, but who knew i'd get a roommate like the one i have. she really motivated me. and now she's lazier than i am, it seems, hahaha... hard to imagine, isn't it? but seriously! i'm a lot better now! heehee
somehow i kno
that things will work out
no matter wut happens
no matter my doubt..
its just so hard to believe that sometimes when things aren't goin so smoothly
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[10 May 2004|12:54pm] |
just oNE more grueling test to take... aack, the one i probably need to study for the most, but i'm so burned out!! booooo
this summer, i hope to...
..have an even more meaningful 3 months with my babyy
..reacquaint myself with my friends!
..get a job.. need money desperately, hehe
hm.. i guess those are the major things... man, i've never looked forward to the summer as much as i do rite now! and it's almost here.. yayyy!!
miss u kevin!! love u!
miss u helen!! luv u! *huGs*
miss u everyone else! hope we can do lotsa fun stuff!! see u sooon
o ya, jennifer's stupid for not coming home! hmph
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| yayy! |
[29 Mar 2004|12:00am] |
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mood |
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so happy for the two of you |
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music |
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the helen and richie song, hehe |
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it doesn't matter for how long u've been loving someone. rather, how much you love that person is far more indicative of the bond the two of you possess. cause even tho u've only been together for oNe yEaR, it seems as if it's been so much longer. perhaps it's because of the love that i sense between you guys, which seems to be growing stronger and stronger as time presses on. my only wish for the two of you is that u'll continue to have the relationship that is obviously so special. luv you! =)
~Helen and Richie~
hApPy oNe yEaR AnNiVeRsArY
...since...
*03/29/03*
Ü
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[26 Mar 2004|09:53am] |
*sigh*
i miss kev..
sooo much!
hurts... melting i tell you
poooo
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| yaYz!! |
[21 Jan 2004|10:04am] |
HaPpY 19tH BiRThDaY</blue> HeLeN!!!!!!
luv u!! hope u have the bestest day ever! heehee
Ü
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[13 Jan 2004|07:43pm] |
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music |
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clay aiken when you say you love me |
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back to school again...
this sux
i thot this semester would be easier, but i think i was wrong. bLeh!.. but i pRoMiSe to study harder. much harder. no more fkin around... esp after my crappy gpa.
i miss home already.. it was great seeing everyone again tho =) too bad we dunt all have the same spring break, huh? *sigh*... summer won't be too long away from that tho.. yay!!
i'm so tired
i can't stay here 7 years... i just can't. hope i get good news from my advisor tomoro
it sux how you hurt the people you love most, the most. why does it happen so much? it doesn't make much sense, does it? well, it does. but it's just a wonder why that has to be.
went to the gym today for the first time since i got back... reminds me of key club, how there's so many people in the beginning, but then the numbers just gradually start to fade away, hehe
love u kevin
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[29 Dec 2003|09:39pm] |
aah! i just watched sleepless in seattle, the first time i saw it the whole way thru, and omg!!! it's such a good movie! i luv it! heehee... it's goin on my dvds-to-buy list.. fo sho! =D
anyway, it's been a week of break, and.. it's been great! seeing old faces again n stuff =)... altho it's not the same as before, i'm still happy to have been reunited with my high school buddies... thanx for hosting the party grace!
man, it's great being able to have fun and be serious at the same time.. and despite the time and distance apart, it's like picking up rite where we were.. it's awesome.. i luv u!!!
hehe, too bad it didn't turn out that great.. but hey, at least we had fun rite? sux for ur dad tho.. we victimized him, haha...love u, *mUAH*
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[04 Dec 2003|01:49pm] |
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i duno. it's cold |
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shadow |
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it's december!! yay! i wish we had KOST up here. i wanna hear Christmas songs! heehee... i can't wait till these next two weeks are over.. then i'll be done with this stressful semester, and i'll get to go home agaiN!! i can't wait to see you all again too! =)... then we get to do lotsa fun stuff, hehe... hope you all are doin well, and good luck with finals! next week! (for most of u, at least)
hm.. well, i'm in that reflective mood again, so i'd like to express my feelings...
like, i dunt understand myself sometimes. why i do things, why i think things, why i want things... and rite now, i'm in one of those moments. there's nothing i specifically question, but i feel as if there's something i'm not doing rite. i duno..
thank you =)
i love my kev
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[16 Nov 2003|05:11pm] |
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 chipper |
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open ur eyes |
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hehe, i like this quote...
"life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by themomentsthat take our breath away "
anyway, people, i hate college! well, not really. but i hate studying n shit. it seems that once i'm done studying for one test, there's another one. or at least something to keep me busy. bLeh. now i understand why i was so lazy in high school, hehe... i mean, i still am, but i'm better! yay!! it's still not enough tho, so i still hafta work on it.
o ya, and i miss getting my pictures developed, and not seeing any with u people in it. last time i got like, 3 or 4... so this time!.. i want lots n lots! oki? =)
8 more days! =D!!!
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[22 Oct 2003|09:52pm] |
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satisfied |
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music |
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whats ur flava |
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i got kinda sad today. cause i realized i can't study abroad =( awwww.. i wanted to too.. not sure where to tho, hehe
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[21 Oct 2003|02:14pm] |
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love you babe |
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nick lachey ~ this i swear.. i love this song!!! |
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i can't wait till thanxgiving break comes! i hate school so much! i kno it'd be so much better if the people i loved were here with me... *sigh* i wanna go back to high school.. those were the days.. except having to go home every day, hehe.. but ya.. i hope everyone's doin good! i'm alrite.. just missing people like crazy... especially kev.....
thank you so much baby.. u duno how happy you made me last week. it'll be one week ago tomoro... and i bet when that time comes around, i'll be thinking about it, appreciating it, but also cryin about it, cause i'll be wishing it could happen again... this is so hard for me..i hate not being able to see you every day.. i'm so jealous of erich, the people in ur hall, even the people at riverside that only get a glimpse of you!... i miss your arms around me, the hugs and kisses you give me... i miss YoU...but i'll try to be optimistic.. i mean, at least i get to talk to you every day... we got this, baby
u're there by my side, in every way
i kno that you will not forsake me
i give you my life, would not think twice
ur love is all i need, believe me
i may not say it quite as much as i should
but when i say i love you that means for good
so open up ur heart and let me in...
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| baby kev |
[07 Oct 2003|03:43pm] |
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mood |
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thankful |
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this song~du-uh... love you kev! =) |
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this could be it..
i think i'm in love
it's love this time
it just seems to fit
i think i'm in love
this love is mine
i can see you with me when i'm older
all my lonely nites are finally over
you took the weight of the world off my shoulders..
when you kiss me
i kno you miss me
when u're with me
the world just goes away
the way you hold me
the way you show me
that you adore me
when you kiss me
you are the one
i think i'm in love
life has begun
i can see the two of us together
i kno i'm gonna be with you forever
love couldn't be any better
when you kiss me
i kno you miss me
when u're with me
the world just goes away
the way you hold me
the way you show me
that you adore me
when you kiss me
i can see you with me when i'm older
all my lonely nites are finally over
you took the weight of the world off my shoulders...
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[07 Oct 2003|02:43pm] |
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time of your life |
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it's been 46 days since i've left...
.wow.
i miss you guys so much!!!
i'm so happy to be comin home in a couple of days! too bad i won't be seeing everyone tho..
anyway! love you all!
*hUgS*
Ü
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[03 Oct 2003|02:11pm] |
i am the stupidest person in the world. or most retarded. i forget the difference in the whole technical meanings behind them. but anyway.. so i've lost 2 books so far. today, i brought my chem book to mentor to study for an hr before the test.. after the test i was completely frustrated, so i left it and didnt realize it till i went to bio.. after bio i went to look for it, but it wasn't there, so i went to the office to ask if anyone had found it. the person was like, no, but we have a mentor book... and i was like, o, i lost one a while ago but i didn't have my name on it so i wouldn't kno if it was mine or not. then she flipped open the page and i saw my 2 friends' phone numbers that i had written down, and i was like, oMg! that's mine!... damn i'm dumb... so now i'm just missing my chem book... i hope i find that one. i dunt wanna pay another 150 for a damn book.
ya, so that chem test. i flunked! i can't believe it. i expected more of me.. i mean, u'd think that after tens of hours of studying, i'd do well, but i think i did worse than last time.. *sigh*... so now i'm wondering if i should even study for the next one. like, none of the stuff i studied was on there, at least not to my understanding. he makes it seem so much harder than the problem actually is. and since i already think too much into things, it's worse. haha, i found that out from the econ test yesterday... i hate my gdamn teacher! hes a freakin genius but he cant teach for shit! i wish i were goin to la this weekend.. no more tests! aya.. i can't take it =/... but on the bright side! at least it's finally the weekend. and i'm finally off my rag =P (i kno u wanted to kno that! hehe)
o ya, so whoever's gonna be in town next weekend, do u wanna go to the haunted queen mary thing? on saturday! (oct 11)... tickets are $26 online, with some 6.50 convenience charge.. not sure how much they are at the door or anything.. but ya, it should be fun! =)
o ya!!!!!!!!! HaPpY BiRthDaY mOmMy!!! =D
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[29 Sep 2003|11:21am] |
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mariah carey hero |
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hey!!! guess wut i just found out! shhs' homecoming is on october 11!!! we should go! =P hehehe... dunt u think that'd be fun tho? i duno... and i heard that our ex-school's really perty now, so even tho i thot i'd never go back there, i wanna go check it out... aww, no fair.. but wutevers.. alritey then... hm, i wonder who's on court.. i kno shalimar (sp?) is.. that's all... k bye!!!!
oo ya, 9 more days!! yay! let's get drunk it's fun!! =D
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[25 Sep 2003|12:18am] |
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mellow |
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*ten minutes ago* |
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we have so much time in college! or maybe i should just be saying that i do, cause i'm a loser like that, hehe.. but ya, so i've been thinking... like, i've realized that i totally took my friends for granted back in high school. i mean, i've always appreciated them n stuff, but it's just that they were always there.. for four long years... so i guess it just seemed like they would always be there... and never go away. and even when we ended our senior year, and even when when i knew of all the different colleges everyone was going off to, it still didn't seem like they would ever leave. it's such a naive way of thinking.. a total dream world.. i'm pretty stupid sometimes. cause i mean, it's not like i didn't kno i'd be hundreds of miles away from every one of the people i care about. i knew it all along. it's just that i didn't realize just how much i would be impacted by this separating distance.. i didn't realize how much i'd miss my friends.. i didn't realize how much they really meant to me. they say that you make your lifelong friends in college.. maybe that's true, but can i keep some of my high school ones too? i hope so =) i miss you all!!
*mUcHOs hUGs*
always,
vieve
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| ugh |
[23 Sep 2003|10:45am] |
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sad |
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i'm so friendsick... i wanna go back! except at the same time i dunt..... can't explain it, really.. well, maybe i can, but i for sure dunt want to
i can't stopp..aya
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[14 Sep 2003|05:53pm] |
now that i'm all caught up (well, kinda) with my hw/tests..blah blah... i have time to do stuff!!! and i wanna write to all of you!! or something like that, hehe (i haven't talked to you people in so long! *sniff sniff*)... so anyway, ya... pleez gimme ur email and/or snail mail addies!! ya? =) pleeeeez.
portlyvieve@yahoo.com
oki then, i hope to talk to you all sooN!! awwww, wish i could see you guys too. pOOoo
k bye!!!
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[09 Sep 2003|03:01pm] |
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tired |
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music |
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fat joe/ashanti ~ wut's luv =P |
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whooo, i post like mad now, haha, but i had to post this one, cause it's just cool like that =)
but anyway, ya... just came back from class. so while i was sleeping in econ today, i had a few dreams, but i only remember one. in it, i was sleeping in econ. haha. aren't those kinds so cool? i like them, except not today. cause i try to stay awake for that class. well, i try to stay awake for all my classes, but i actually like that class. i was just so dead tired tho. it's been like that for all my lecture classes. arg. anyway, and in my dream, i was saying subconsciously, "u need to stay awake" cause he was doing some demonstration thing, and i felt i really needed to take notes on it, and so i actually kept myself from sleeping! i was so proud of myself. and then i woke up and realized that i had been sleeping the whole time, and that there was only 16 minutes left of class =X i was like, aww man. it was so sad. (not that i slept for the entire class... it was in spurts of like, 10 min each, except for that last one)... o ya, so dunt you hate those kinds of dreams, where u're supposed to be doing something, and you dream that you did it, so then when you wake up, u're all confused cause you think you already did it? haha. and it sux!! especially when it's something you really dunt wanna do.. heehee
ahahha, camels have paws! hahahahhahaha
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